life seems so irrelevant and distant when you’re this gone
i wish i were always like this
life is good
life is different
i need to only think of myself right now
took too many tries to get a good picture. not fishing for compliments at all, but i am really, really unphotogenic. anyway, i bleached all of my hair. it’s a coppery, liony, fireball looking thing. i love it, but i still kind of miss my natural hair colour. turns out it wouldn’t have been in selling quality (or length) by the end of May- the bottom four to six inches were/are too dry and brittle.
anyway, i needed to do it. i had been flirting with the idea for months and watching Andrea/Twin Sister’s frontwoman transform from brunette hispanic girl to blonde faux-japanese girl on Saturday night inspired me even more. i still miss the chestnut natural highlights and the rich shade of brown, but i NEED(ED) to transform into something else. i need to leave somber, no-nonsense emma on the backburner for now and bring back the loud, seemingly carefree emma and this was/is the symbolic gesture that i need(ed). this will probably be the last time i bleach my hair before i settle down into my elegant brunette ways.
change is good. i hope the blonde helps me, the way Ted’s breakup beard helps him.
new career path as a cutiepie?
i waited tables for the first time today. boss is really nice. staff is really chill. customers are relatively low maintenance. today was a good day at work, and i made really great tips, all things considered. it definitely helps how social and cute i am. being bilingual turned out to be a big plus, as well.
gonna have to look for a new job to replace the seasonal maquiladora job that is coming to a close, but so far so good.
the part where Jason starts singing “Obla-di Obla-da” to cheer me up
and i sing along even though my heart is heavy and it gives me a little bit
of hope.
“la di la di life goes on”
“… i want everything to be okay….” what is your definition of “okay?”
ah, my sad three am tweet from today/last night.
“okay” means financial stability. “okay” means being able to see some of my dearest friends (gorgeous, extremely supportive Wife included) for the first time in almost a year. most of all, “okay” means being on good terms with the one of the most important people to me in the whole wide world. i hate fighting with him. i just want to be able to talk to him about everything, all of the time, but that is not an option right now, from the looks of it.
things will not be “okay” for who knows how long, but i am trying to resolve my problems on a daily basis.
“
People love you. They do, and they always will. But in the end, you must be your own champion. The only person who can truly teach the world about your marvelous, sensual, graceful, unique, lovely, and undeniably beautiful self is YOU. When you believe you’re beautiful, the world believes right along with you.
Loving yourself is hard. It’s work. It’s never-ending and there are a thousand forces working against your success. But believe me when I say it is worth the effort. You are worth the effort. Put that effort forth and you will be dazzled by the world of opportunity that unfolds before you.
”
“Sometimes when I look at you, I feel I’m gazing at a distant star. It’s dazzling, but the light is from tens of thousands of years ago. Maybe the star doesn’t even exist any more. Yet sometimes that light seems more real to me than anything.”
—
South of the Border, West of the Sun (via harukimurakami
)
how are things with Andy?
clearly not good. i don’t want to talk about it. i gave you guys the basic premise with my whole Nora/Barney thing. text me if you want to know so badly, but there’s not much to say.
I am fine. I’m pretty excited to see my mom on Friday. I’m excited for entirely selfish reasons though. She’s in California now visiting my grandparents, and when she comes back they make her pack extra food. What’s your new job?
it’s okay to be a little selfish sometimes. :] i’m going to start waiting tables. you can text me for more details if you’d like.
i hope she’s the Nora to your Barney…
i concede, because i have to. it hurts so fucking much.
just realised i won’t be able to visit Denton anytime soon…
i have a three hour Saturday class and work eight hour shifts on Sundays.
i’d have to go like next weekend for it to work…only available weekend.
really sad, but i guess i could technically try to pull it off, despite my
lack of funds. it’s not very realistic, considering how many bills i have
to pay. i don’t know. i don’t know what to do.
frustrated and sad and unable to talk to the one person i want to talk to
about this right now. i miss everyone. i especially miss my Best but it
seems like he’s doing fine without me. :’(
It’s been a while since I’ve asked you a question at 5 in the morning. Since I’ve made an account, my anonymity is lost now. How has you been recently?
if you’d like to remain anonymous, you can always sign out of your account and flood my inbox with questions. lol.
i’ve been so-so. i have a good life, but i’ve been having problems sleeping lately and i get pretty sad sometimes. that’s life, i suppose. it goes on. i am pretty stoked about starting my second job on Friday. how are you, Trungee-dear?
